OPEN YOUR EYES
me randomly gaining my sanity & consciousness back on a random tuesday:
I think I've come to a realization. And, I've come to remember myself.
A long time ago, I was talking to a friend on the topic of vanity urls. Usernames, pastebin links, etc. And she bought up a good point: it's better to have a personalized username that people can remember you by. I didn't really think that hard about it at the time, but now that I've been thinking about it for a long time, I realized. I realized that this "angel" fixation is something that is worthless in comparison to my own name. My own, signature username. Something I had created years ago for the sake of having a unique name to sign off my art with.
People will not remember "angel." But, I think they'll remember "Cyberistic" a little more.
Is it cringe? ehhh maybe. Same time I threw the words "Cyber" and "istic" together when I was like 13, thought it wounded superrrrrr cool, and ran with it for years. At least until 2024, when I threw away myself.
Although, I had little choice. My mind was truly in a state of actual insanity at that time.
It's hard to think that it took me this long to find myself. But, I'm glad I did in the end.
Will I throw out my "angel" urls, including this blog & my website? No. I think the me from 2024 would actually shoot himself. However, I still do identify with a lot of angel themes in general. It is a coping mechanism for me, the belief of dying last year and coming back alive as an angel. A mechanism which is not harmful, and brings me a good sense of peace.
I truly did miss myself.