Easter Burnout
Ohhhhh lord it's been months since I cried this hard. It's currently 10:19 P.M. and I'm not tired.
Yesterday, I was in the car with my aunt when her phone started ringing. It was my dad, and he said he was "almost there."
Almost... where?
"to (town I live in)"
NOOOOOOOOOOO? My aunt and I were both surprised. She didn't know, I didn't know, which left one person who did:
MY UNCLE.
He sent my dad over across the state without me knowing! I didn't ask to go, I didn't want to go! Are you kidding me???? I have like 2 hours to get ready and pack!
Well. As much as I'd like to tell my dad to turn back, I'd feel awful. Gas prices nowadays cost a stupid amount. He's been driving since early morning, for me... Actually probably for my uncle because he told him to come.
After 2 hours of running around, I was in a car playing pokemon black on my ds lite for 8 hours straight. I finished the game, didn't really like the ending for it however. Music was godly though.
Yesterday was fine. I arrived home and my 2 siblings were excited to see me.
Today? A complete disaster. I was perfectly fine until evening. I just felt overwhelmed. Terribly exhausted. I cried my eyes out for like, 3 hours straight.
I just don't like it here. The constant bickering between my step mom and dad, the children crying, the loud prayers recited on the tv, it's so loud.
The guilt however, is louder then anything else. The guilt from not having the mental capacity to be a responsible big sister to my siblings. It's rather painful. I truly do want to spend time and be happy with my siblings. However, everything feels so dull and exhausting.
I feel like I'm complaining over nothing. But seriously... I just don't have it in me. I don't know why.
And now I have a very big headache. This is great!